Wednesday, January 7, 2009

What's the (Sugar) Buzz?

It’s busy here; I’ve been at the sewing machine from early morning ‘til late at night the last 3 days in a row!

But there’s something I need to address with those of you who have my book A Patrick Lose Christmas from C&T Publishing. It has come to my attention (through several emails over the last few months and a phone call a few minutes ago with Kathy Runyan, owner of The Quilt Shoppe in Stewartsville, MO) that many of you have made the Caramel Christmas Mix recipe offered in the book. Apparently, Kathy felt no shame in announcing to me that she and her staff had made 4 batches of the stuff over the holiday season. Keep in mind that one batch contains 3 entire boxes of cereal and 2 POUNDS of brown sugar.

I’m truly sorry that you’re having problems fitting into some of your Christmas gifts but I have to say that I warned you. There is a disclaimer printed clearly at the bottom of the page on which the recipe is printed. In case you overlooked it, let me remind you:

"Patrick Lose is not responsible for the intrinsic weight gains, sugar buzzes, gluttony, or cloying addictions (4 batches?) resulting from the consumption of this treat. Eat at your own risk!"

I don’t recall any text in the book telling you to contact me with your tales of woe about what 4 batches of Caramel Christmas Mix does to a person’s waist line. And, no, I don’t need you to send photos of your “transformation”. I went through one of my own a few years back that took me up a couple of waist sizes. And, to make mine worse, I had quit smoking at the time and replaced my cigarettes with the above-mentioned concoction. Trust me, Kathy and crew, 4 batches is only a starting point. And adding things like chocolate chips to the recipe makes me think you’re not even trying to take that first step down the road to recovery.

So, in closing, I don’t think it’s fair that you change the bucolic name of Caramel Christmas Mix to Patrick’s Crunchy Christmas Crack. Take responsibility for your own weaknesses. FYI, I don’t run a clothing alterations business. I have enough of my own to do. What? I never said I was quilting at the machine the last 3 days!

That said, all of the preparations for the new Patrick Lose club are going well…lots of details to iron out! If you’re a shop owner, I’d love to hear your ideas in case we’re overlooking something. If you’re a retail customer, the shop owners and I would love to know what you’re hoping for in a membership to the Patrick Lose club.

I’ve got several new patterns and a new line of fabric just around the corner so be on the lookout!

Cheers!
Patrick ;-)

3 comments:

  1. Patrick - I love this post! Thanks for the giggles.
    Your fan,
    Carol

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  2. Hey Pat, It's Sue, Eddie's sister. Nora finally sent me this link and I was glad to get it so I can keep track of you and your designs but I guess the first thing I need is the recipe for the "Sugar Buzz" everyone is talking about. Now I can keep track of you, keep up the great work, you know I love your designs.

    Sue from the Sunshine state!!!

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  3. Crunchy Christmas Crack? Now that is just down home funny!

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